TRB Blog

Unhealthy Social Media Relationship: How your status affects your real world

Written by Tamara Wineland Rodgers | Nov 24, 2024 6:00:53 PM

In today’s digital age, social media has become a central part of how we communicate, share experiences, and even define our relationships. It’s also how we network for success. This is key toward building trust for your personal brand and you need social support to achieve this. But it’s easy to get caught up in the pursuit of likes, comments, and followers. And when it comes to our relationship statuses, things can take a darker turn.

The pressure to present an idealized version of our lives online can have a significant impact on our mental health and overall well-being. In truth, I’d have to say validation and pressure to present your best self are top issues. But take a closer look at how an unhealthy relationship with social media and your status can negatively affect you.

The Pressure to Present a Perfect Life

One of the most toxic aspects of social media is the tendency to portray an idealized version of life—relationships included. Whether it's through relationship posts, couple selfies, or the display of a "happy" status, social media encourages people to show only their best moments. This can create unrealistic expectations, both for individuals and their followers. 

For those in relationships, this can lead to the belief that constant public displays of affection or a curated, flawless image are required for a relationship to be considered “successful.” The pressure to keep up with this facade can cause stress, anxiety, and a fear of vulnerability. Behind the scenes, however, many of these relationships are facing struggles that aren't shared with the public eye, leading to a disconnect between the online and offline reality.

Comparing Yourself to Others

Social media often presents a distorted reality. Couples posting extravagant vacations, engagement rings, or family celebrations may inadvertently make others feel inadequate or left behind. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your relationship to someone else’s online life, forgetting that what is posted is typically a highlight reel, not the full picture.

This constant comparison can lead to feelings of loneliness, insecurity, and even resentment. You may start questioning your own relationship or personal value, feeling like you're not measuring up to what’s “normal” or “expected” in the world of social media. What many fail to recognize is that these comparisons are often based on artificial standards that don't reflect the complexities and challenges of real life.

The Dangers of Oversharing

While sharing intimate moments on social media can feel like a way to bond with others, oversharing personal details about a relationship can lead to complications. Publicizing arguments, private disagreements, or moments of conflict can expose vulnerabilities that may come back to haunt you. The more you reveal, the more you're subjecting yourself and your partner to judgment, unsolicited advice, and potential embarrassment.

Additionally, oversharing can alter the dynamics of the relationship. When everything is posted online, it may feel like your relationship exists in the public domain rather than being something private and personal between you and your partner. This can lead to a lack of boundaries, resentment, or even a breakdown in trust.

Constant Validation Seeking

The validation we seek through likes, comments, and shares can become addictive. For some, it feels as though the success of a relationship is measured by how well it is received by others online. In some cases, individuals may even base their self-worth on the reaction their posts receive, leading to unhealthy patterns of seeking approval from strangers or distant acquaintances.

This dependency on external validation can make it difficult to find genuine happiness or satisfaction within the relationship itself. Instead of focusing on personal connection and mutual understanding, the relationship becomes a means to garner attention and approval from a wider audience. When the validation doesn’t come or the likes start to fade, it can leave one feeling unfulfilled, anxious, and disconnected.

Impact on Mental Health

All of these factors—comparison, oversharing, perfectionism, and the need for validation—can take a heavy toll on mental health. Studies have shown that excessive use of social media is linked to increased rates of anxiety, depression, and loneliness, particularly among younger generations. The constant bombardment of curated content, whether it’s about relationships or other aspects of life, can create a false sense of inadequacy and leave individuals feeling like they’re not living up to societal standards.

For those in relationships, the pressure to conform to a certain ideal can also strain communication and intimacy. When your online identity becomes more important than your offline connection, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters—genuine emotional support, trust, and love.

Breaking Free from the Toxic Cycle

For the love of God! Take a break from the madness! Paramount to your balance is moderation and honesty. The key to maintaining a healthy relationship with social media—and by extension, with your relationship—is setting boundaries and cultivating mindfulness. Here are a few strategies to break free from the unhealthy cycle, ABSOLUTELY:

  • Limit sharing: Be selective about what you post and when. Keep your relationship private, and remember that not everything needs to be validated online.
  • Focus on real connection: Prioritize face-to-face interactions and meaningful conversations. Instead of seeking approval from a virtual audience, nurture the bond with your partner offline.
  • Unfollow and mute: It is so ok to unfollow and mute your friend. If you find that certain accounts are triggering unhealthy comparisons or negative thoughts, don’t hesitate to unfollow or mute them.
  • Practice gratitude: Be grateful for what you do have in reality. Focus on your home and family first. Shift your focus from external validation to internal fulfillment. Celebrate the unique strengths of your relationship without comparing them to anyone else’s.

The relationship between social media and mental health is complex, especially when it comes to how we present our romantic lives online. While it’s natural to want to share moments of happiness and connection, it’s important to recognize when these behaviors become unhealthy. By being mindful of what we post, avoiding harmful comparisons, and fostering real, offline connections, we can break free from the toxic cycle of social media’s influence on our relationships. Ultimately, the most meaningful connections are the ones that happen in the real world—not just through the lens of a screen.